Lara’s path to financial wellbeing

After some tough times, Lara is now on the path to financial and emotional wellbeing. This Anti-Poverty Week (15-21 October), Lara shares her story to encourage others, talking about the support she received from The Salvation Army’s Moneycare (free financial counselling service). While Lara’s name and some details have been changed for privacy, this is a true story.  

Lara shares:

Today I am about to start a university degree, I am in the process of clearing my debts and I am planning for a positive future — finally. But only a few years ago, I couldn’t have imagined ever feeling hope again.

In early 2020, I finally managed to leave my nearly 25-year abusive marriage. As hard as leaving was, leaving opened up a new set of challenges that I never envisioned.

My ex-husband is a gambler and during my marriage there was significant financial abuse. I basically had no access to money, only what he gave me. Just after I left him, my ex-husband [told me of] four credit cards in my name and said, “Good luck paying them off — they are all maxed out.”

He also advised that a store interest-free account from years prior — that I thought had been paid off — was still being used as a credit card for cash withdrawals (with 22 per cent interest) and was also maxed out. Despite being in both names, the responsibility to pay for it fell to me.

All up there was just under $62,000 worth of credit card debt in my name. Plus, my ex had not been paying the school fees, so suddenly I had a debt of several thousand dollars as well as unpaid rates, all up totalling over $70,000.

Barely surviving financially

After a significant family violence incident, I left the marital home in a hurry with only my children, a few clothes (mainly for the kids) and the family cat. After couch surfing with my children, I was fortunate enough to gain a rental a month later, but was very stressed as to whether I would be able to keep it.

Money was ridiculously tight as I tried to meet all my obligations to the point that my children and I had no heating in a very cold winter. I also was not receiving child support.

A family member confided my story with a work colleague who advised my family member that she had left an abusive gambler and asked could she reach out to me. That woman, who I had never met, messaged me and mentioned that Moneycare had really helped her. So, I made the call to The Salvation Army’s Moneycare.

It was one of the best things I [ever] did.

Moneycare sparks hope and direction in financial struggle

The Moneycare counsellor was really helpful in supporting me to budget as well as arrange payment plans for the debts. Plans I have honoured and I’m pleased to say I have now cleared all the credit card debt. I’m still working on the others, but I have never missed a payment.

But more so, my Moneycare counsellor never judged me. She helped me with the guilt and shame that came from being a victim of financial . At all times I was treated with dignity and respect and never [made to feel] stupid.

As well as the debts, I had to set up a new household with nothing.

My Moneycare counsellor helped me to create a workable budget, negotiate hardship arrangements for my utilities and let me know what other financial assistance was available to me. It meant I was able to get wood delivered for heating which, considering it was winter and we were stuck at home in lockdown, made our lives so much more liveable.

Looking back on that horrible and stressful time (it also included COVID lockdown and remote learning) I often felt like I was still being controlled by my ex-husband.

But something my Moneycare counsellor said to me right at the beginning was, “You are now in control. You are in the driver’s seat and you are filling your car with experts who will help you navigate.” She was right.

Financial wellbeing in sight

My Moneycare counsellor also encouraged me to look beyond the current situation and to think about what my goals were. Initially it was to just pay my rent and bills. But she kept me focused that this time would pass.

My dream is to buy a small house in the country. It’s still a few years away (about seven, I think), but I have a plan.

I am starting a university degree … which will provide me with the necessary qualifications to formalise the skills and experience I already have. There is a skills shortage in the qualification I will study, meaning I should be able to obtain work easily in the regional area of my choice.

In addition to providing me with the skills to obtain meaningful employment, I also have a saving goal. Once I finish university, I envision in a few years I will be able to buy that little house I dream of.

After years of major financial abuse, leaving my marriage and gaining control of my money was confronting and overwhelming. I doubt I would be where I am now if not for the support and guidance that I received from Moneycare.